flos putridum
by Piriluk
Summary: In those last moments, he realised he really did not want to die alone. — ・・・— oneshot / SOE!AU / please R&R


I don't write songfics usually (especially DOE/SOE shit because _how many fcking songfics are there in existence_? that's right. too goddamn many.) but alas I have now because INSPIRATION. apologies, I suck.

disclaimer, while I've read the akunomumupoop manga to an extent and also the translation of the novel online I'm not going to copy it word-for-word because _that's cheating and also very much unoriginal, _however I have adopted _some_ elements. (yada yada) FOQ THA POLICE I'm sorry mothy but I'm using the Vocaloid names because I'm a shit.

this sucks, btw, HAVE FUN CLICKING OUT OF THIS WINDOW (waves goodbyeeee) -

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><p><em>In those last moments, he realised he really did not want to die alone.<em>

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><p>.<p>

**.**

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><p>Rin's eyes had widened, a look of sheer terror wiping across her face. She leaned up against the window, and all of a sudden, she looked small and pale to Len; she looked nothing like evil—just a frightened little girl. "Oh no, oh no," she whimpered. "They're coming! They're going to kill me! Oh no, oh no, <em>oh no<em>."

She turned to him, her loyal servant, putting her gloved hands to her face to stop tears from spilling out. She never cried in front of others. It was embarrassing. Weak. She was not weak, was she?

"Even the staff… everyone is turning against me… oh, Len, I'm going to _die_," she wept. Rin's shoulders shook. He reached out numbly to hold them in place, a guilt washing over him from having to see her so fragile. He knew all along this day was coming, but he forgot that Rin was only _human_.

Of course she did not want to die. Of course she would be scared.

Why… did things have to happen in this way?

"Milady," he murmured, as if to offer comfort. His eyes wandered back to the window—to the chaos outside.

It was a revolution. But the revolution was bigoted: against the Queen and the Queen only. A fourteen year old girl who didn't have a choice of her fate; who was not ready to take up such responsibilities, who had lost everyone important to her and only knew the wrong way. It was not _her_ fault. It was everyone else's fault. It was _his_ fault.

He knew this was going to happen. But he… chose not to change this outcome. He chose not to make the effort to save her from this bitter end.

…Was he the one who was truly evil all this time?

Perhaps.

A thought came to him.

"Len, what are you doing?" Rin blubbered, when she'd realised he'd started unbuttoning his shirt.

He felt cold all over, but ignored it. "Swap your clothes with mine, quickly."

She seemed horrified over the idea. "Why?" she demanded.

"Just trust me," he begged, handing her his clothes. Her eyes were unconvinced. "_Please_." After a few moments, she hesitantly took them, her eyes flicking over his half-naked body almost judgmentally, and walked away from the window to the corner of the room.

The crowd that was once gathered in the courtyard had dispersed, and Len feared the worst—that meant their time was even more limited. Someone must have seen them.

Shouting in the corridor outside the door broke the anxious silence between the two. Rin cried in a panic, her hands shaking as she buttoned up Len's blouse. Her eyes darted back over to Len, full of dread. "What are you going to do?" she exclaimed upon realising Len's possession of her dress.

"We're going to swap," he told her gravely. The dress would be a little baggy, here and there, but what was expected?

Rin frowned, her eyes filling with tears again. "If we swap they'll notice," she reasoned stubbornly. She moved towards him, helping him shrug it over his shoulders.

Len shook his head. "_We_ will," he said. "But they won't. We're twins. They won't tell the difference otherwise." Twins. They weren't the same, of course, but nonetheless they shared the same dirty blonde hair, clear sky-blue eyes and sharp features.

Her eyelids fluttered and her face scrunched up into both a look of great grief and of great agony. Though she was helping him put it on, she muttered protests like, "But if they find out, Len, they'll kill both of us," and, "And if they don't find out… they'll kill _you_…"

She whimpered at the thought and dropped her hands, crumpling into a ball on the floor.

"Rin," he pleaded. He didn't know how to feel. It all felt too surreal. Rin, however, knew the reality.

A loud bang against the door startled the two, and Rin jumped up, clutching onto Len. "Let's run. Run out the window," she sobbed. "I don't care if we fall and die, please, let's just get away, please, Len, _please_."

"They'll get us anyway," he reasoned gently.

"I don't care," she cried into his chest. "Don't do this to me. Don't do this."

Len brushed the top of her hair with his fingers, before releasing his ponytail and tying hers up. He took out her ribbon and pressed it into her palms, before kissing her softly on the forehead. "I'm sorry, Rin."

Just as the doors gave way, he pushed her back and stepped up to the awaiting crowd.

He closed his eyes, accepting his fate.

"The queen of evil has surrendered! She shall be executed at three o'clock in the town square! Glory be to this day of new hope and a bright future—"

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><p>.<p>

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><p>"You're a foolish boy," Meiko spat, pressing her foot on his chest, as he lay, slumped against the cold wall of his cell.<p>

Len did not understand why he couldn't feel anything. Perhaps he just didn't understand the weight of the situation. Maybe he just wanted to see _her_. Maybe he didn't care about anything really at all.

She grimaced at his lack of response, grabbing his chin to turn his face to hers. "Surely the commoners will not realise, but Prince Kaito and I sure did. If you're really that stupid to think this act would stop us from executing you, think again."

"I never did," he answered glumly.

Her eyes darkened. "Then why?"

Len couldn't find an answer.

Meiko stepped off him and released his jaw. "We won't kill Rin. But since you're in this position, we'll kill you. The Prince and I both agree it's a lesson to be learnt."

"It is?"

She turned away, stalking back over to the door. "You're the only one Rin has loved and confided in. You're the only one there for her. It's about time she had her own cup of tea and experience what it's like to lose someone. Punishment through death doesn't compare to a life of regret and pain."

Then she left, bitter, and Len realised how lonely his sister was.

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><p>.<p>

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><p>Was he supposed to feel sad?<p>

Scared?

As the church bells chimed three o'clock, not even chills ran down his spine. He felt… nothing. Or maybe nothing was what he felt—he felt indifferent towards his death.

But Len wished he could say that as he was dragged out into the square, the sight of the guillotine did not make his stomach turn; however, after serving under his sister, he'd been witness to too many beheadings to know his own fate.

They packed him roughly into the wooden shackles, closing him in so he couldn't escape. He could feel panic rising in his chest. His eyes darted nervously through the crowd of shouting people who met his look with burning hatred.

She was so lonely. She _is_ so lonely.

He finally found her. Rin hid back, silent, watching. Her eyes were bloodshot and cheeks stained with tears, and she stood stiff and fragile in amongst the raging crowd. She was only just a young girl. She was naïve. She was all alone, left to responsibilities too large for her to understand.

Unfortunately no one knew her as well as he did.

He met Meiko's gaze as she positioned herself with her sword. It was _her_ duty, but even her face said she'd rather be elsewhere. She glared down at him through teary vision. He supposed she never knew that one day she would have to kill _him_; a boy she used to call 'brother'.

"Any last words, _Daughter of Evil_?" she inquired over the shouting. The crowd tittered at the label, before quietening down to hear the ending sentence to the novel of his life.

Len dropped his gaze to the ground before him.

He wanted to say, "I don't want to die."

He wanted to say, "I'm sorry."

He wanted to say so many different things, but what he settled for was—"Oh look, it's tea time!"

Was that him? Or was that his true evil?

The bystanders burst into laughter at this phrase, and an immediate nausea washed over him. He felt like he'd mocked Rin, he felt like he'd ridiculed her in his last moments. But he was acting as the "Daughter of Evil", was he not? He wasn't acting like Rin. He wasn't acting like himself. He didn't want to look at her. He didn't want to think about it any longer.

Len became aware of Meiko's shoes scraping the concrete as she positioned herself above his neck.

He swallowed as the crushing weight of reality fell upon him.

This was it?

He was going to die here?

This was how he would die? Ungracefully, dressed as a girl, as everyone's enemy—never to return? Was he selfish for doing this, or selfless? It was a fine line between both.

It was hard. It was hard because… this life won't exist anymore. He couldn't reflect back on it and say it was a 'good life', but neither could he say it was necessarily _bad_, either. He just wished he had a second chance. He wished he didn't have to end it this way.

_I don't want to die._

"Burn in hell, you bitch!" are the last words he heard. Would Rin hear that? What would she think? What _was_ she thinking? Was she sad… or glad? Was she truly as evil as everyone thought her to be? He didn't want to look at her, because he didn't want to know what she thought.

All he could think about was how lonely Rin would be.

_I don't._

And all he could think about was how much he didn't want to die.

_I don't want to die_.

Len sobbed. In those last moments, he realised he really did not want to die alone. Death was scary, unknown, and he did not want to die alone.

But the voice inside his mind would never be heard, would it?

His panicked thoughts fell on deaf ears.

_I don't want to die,_

Ears fuelled by hatred and revenge.

_I don't!_

Meiko's shoes scratched at the bricked ground. He cried out. **Why?**

_I don't want to die._

**Why?**

_I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't_—

**_Why?_**

The whoosh of her sword—

_I don't I don't I don't I don't Idon'tIdon'tIdon'tIdon'tIdon'tIdon't I DON'T WA_

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><p>.<p>

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><p><strong>She couldn't feel anything, like Len couldn't feel anything, because he was gone, really gone; even the last breath was gone.<strong>


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